After 12+ hours of crying this is what I looked like when I finally settled in to bed last night. I think the tear ducks have finally dried up because I haven't cried in nearly 9 hours. This is progress.
Yet I can't block out the two phrases that keep playing on repeat through my brain, "I can't believe this is my life" and "What have I done?" But my mom is being brilliant and keeps telling me it's going to be ok. To be honest, I don't think it's sunk in yet. My head keeps confusing my heart into thinking this is just a holiday. It isn't though - this is my life now. This is my new reality.
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1 comment:
I just wrote you a nice blog that was fabulous and this stupid blog thing deleted it. Was this designed by an American...?!
The gist of it was I know this is tough. But it's a time to regroup and get some direction. Giving up a work visa, saying goodbye to friends, stepping into the midwest after life in the cosmopolitan city of London...Yep, I can see why you're saying "what the f*** have I done?!" I've been there. But, Kelly, you have no idea what waits up ahead. You can't possibly know how you've set up so many foundations for all that you'll experience in the future.
Let America be the foreign country where you redefine yourself, just like London was at one point. And as Lindsay says, keep your chin up. You're an awfully proper English lady. Don't forget your roots!
I'm pulling for you Kelly. Get centered over these next few months and at some point, hopefully in the near future, you'll get some clarity. You are exactly where you are meant to be at this point in time.
Love ya,
Trish
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